Way Bros Experimental Furniture Co
by thexredxrose
Summary: So...what if Gerard and Mikey...owned a...furniture store? An EXPERIMENTAL FURNITURE store. Craziness from the minds of myself and my brother. Enjoy :  mcr my chemical romance
1. Product Brochure

Welcome to the Way Bros Experimental Furniture Company!

We specialize in furniture of all types. Our favorite item of furniture, however, is couches. We have several interesting couches to choose from. Come in, we'll help you choose the best couch for your needs.

Observe here our special line for high-energy types (hi, Frank), with a low back for vaulting over; extra thick cushions make for a comfortable landing.

We also have couches with wide arms, perfect for sitting on.

Sleep on the couch often? Try this one, with extra-wide cushions.

Now enter our experimental section.

Here is our relatively new TRAMPOLINE COUCH. Extra wide, extra springy. We recommend this couch be placed under the open area of a house with a loft. *Way Bros Experimental Furniture Co. is not responsible for any injuries incurred while using this product.

Have troublesome neighbors that can't keep their hands off your stuff when you invite them over for parties? Annoying friends that always pry into your affairs?

Introducing the fabulous, entirely new, EJECTION SEAT SOFA. This SOFA features three (3) ejection seats fired individually or simultaneously by a small red button located on the right arm of the sofa. Just have those troublesome neighbors seat themselves on the couch. They won't be able to resist the shiny red activation button.

Don't want friends firing your ejection seats? The hidden activation button and remote activation are also available.

Ejection seats just not ostentatious enough for you? Need something a little bit MORE?

Try this: fresh from the mind of our very own Michael James Way, the new, very powerful, very ostentatious FLYING COUCH.

A simple activation button on the arm sends your couch straight upwards and out to a predetermined landing destination. The flight is fast, stunning and magnificent (landing not-so-nice. Don't worry. Our crash test dummy is working on it).

Interested in purchasing the Way Bros. fabulous FLYING COUCH? Worried about the zombie apocalypse?

Upgrade to the WAY BROS. ZOMBIE SECURITY SYSTEM!

The Way Bros. ZOMBIE SECURITY SYSTEM will be installed personally by Messrs. Way and Way in your home. With the simple push of a button on the wall control pad, the ZOMBIE SECURITY SYSTEM will initiate a complete and total lockdown on your house. All windows and doors will be covered by reinforced steel. All you have to do to escape the zombies is jump onto your Way Bros. FLYING COUCH and press the shiny red button on the arm. The couch will eject you and your family members to a safe and secure location outside of your house. Once your couch is clear, the house will burst instantly into all-consuming flames, destroying all zombies trapped inside.

Worried about where to stay now that your house has been burned to wispy cinders? No worries! The Way Bros. FLYING COUCH transforms at the push of a button into a complete SURVIVAL SHELTER.

All Way Bros. furniture tested by Frank Iero to insure your complete satisfaction with your product!

Way Bros. Experimental Furniture Co. is not responsible for any injuries whatsoever incurred due to the improper (or proper) use of any Way Bros. product.

© Way Bros. Experimental Furniture Co.

Main proprietors: Gerard Arthur Way, Michael James Way

Crash Test Dummy: Frank Iero

Customer Service: Gerard Arthur Way

Main Inventors: Messrs. Gerard and Michael Way

Head of Pyrotechnics Dept.: Raymond Manuel Toro

Contact Us! Need a special couch? Leave us a message and we'll help you find the best couch for your needs!

**Hey, Killjoys. I know this is very weird. I see no reason why Gerard and Mikey would want to own a furniture store... BUT IF THEY DID XD I may write later about some random events of this unlikely exploit into entrepreneurism. Frankie testing (trying to break) stuff, maybe hiring Bert McCracken :P I love Bert. **

**Your detonator,**

**Rebel Rose**


	2. Patio Sets and the FirstAid Dept

Welcome back to Way Bros. Experimental Furniture Company! It's so awesome that you've come back! Only about fifty percent of our customers ever return, which is because…well. Never mind that! Come inside, we're inventing something new.

This, my dear friends, is our new line of patio furniture. The brilliant, green UMBRELLA is in fact acid resistant. The CHAIRS of the PATIO SET can lock onto the TABLE, and in this configuration, the PATIO SET is in fact capable of flight. (Mikey's been playing with rockets. …XD) The UMBRELLA is supposed to work as a parachute, but…

* "One, two, three, GO!" is heard from outside and a small man can be seen falling passed a window*

Well. We're still working on it.

*from outside* "Ow!"

"He's fine!"

…Forget the gruesome possible injury you just witnessed that man incur! Come, we have more in our inventions department…

By the way…(haha…WAY…)we have just hired a new employee to manage the showroom floor and act as a spare crash test dummy when our current one is broken.

*Frank Iero comes limping in* "Ow. Ow. Ow!"

As you can see, he's currently broken.

Perhaps you'd like to meet this imbecile, I MEAN, dummy? As in crash test? I'm going to have to inform him of his new position anyway…

"Bert!"

Ladies and gentlemen (TRUTH IS NOW ACCEPTABLE), meet our very own, (FAME IS NOW INJECTABLE) and very new, (PROCESS THE PROGRESS) Bert McCracken. (THIS CORE IS CRITICAL, FAITH IS UNAVAILABLE, LI-) "REBEL ROSE!"

"…yes?"

"Stop singing!"

"…sorry. It's my favorite song on Danger Days."

"I don't care."

"I am your author."

"I don't care about that either."

"I could make you the crash test dummy."

"…" MOVING ON! "Bert!"

"Hey, Gerard!"

We're going to have Bert test stuff now. You guys are going to like this.

*Frank is not-so-secretly very happy to see Bert unknowingly in imminent danger*

TORO: "Ready?"

BERT: "Yes."

TORO: "Okay. I will promise you with only a fifty percent chance of truthfulness that this will not hurt a bit."

BERT: "I'm suddenly not very confident, what are we doing again?"

TORO: *stoically pushes red activation button*

FRANK: *laughs hysterically*

BERT: *SCREEEAM*

NEIGHBORS ACROSS THE STREET FROM WAY BROS. EXPERIMENTAL FURNITURE COMPANY: *glance out window and watch random guy falling out of the sky*

BERT: *stalks back in the front door*

TORO: *arrives with a clipboard* Robert McCracken. Please tell me in your own words the sum of your experiences with the improved model of the Way Bros. Experimental Furniture Company ejection seat couch.

BERT: It hasn't been improved.

TORO: *scribbles on clipboard* Could you explain the reasoning behind that conclusion?

BERT: Yeah. Take-off: startling. Flight: fantastic. Landing: excruciating.

TORO: You've left out a part.

BERT: Really? Which part is that?

TORO: The part about the parachute? How did that work?

BERT: I didn't leave out the parachute. _You _did.

TORO: Ahh. *scribbles* Thank you for your contributions, Mr. McCracken. Your concerns and observations will all be taken into consideration as we continue our work on improving the Way Bros. ejection seat couch. In the meantime, I would advise you see the head of our first aid department.

BERT: Who's head of the first aid department?

FRANK: I didn't know we had a first aid department.

TORO: We do now. We don't actually have any Band-Aids, but the head of department can give out kisses. Bert, his name is Gerard. Go and see him right now.

**:) **

**XD**

**Xoxo,**

**Rebel Rose**


End file.
